[Things are still pretty weird between them right now, so Cater isn't going to make a big spectacle out of this. He'll knock on Idia's door and say that there's something there for him whenever he wants it and leave before waiting to see if Idia opens right away or not.
A tin of sweets (which may or may not be regifted) is waiting with a piece of paper attached that's been cut out to look like a classic ticket voucher. It reads: To be Exchanged for One Day at Appl3 Pi Arcade Courtesy of Cater Diamond (who will pay for all expenses but not force his company upon recipient).]
[Another of those dreams. It’s getting worse, more frequent as his stress levels cycle high and his depression deepens. He’s really trying, not wanting to be a burden to the household (mainly because it draws unwanted attention to him), but there’s only so much he can take. Dealing with it himself is mortifying and a strange mix of pleasant and sickening, definitely not worth the effort as indulging isn’t helping to put a stop to the dreams.
So instead he retreats to the kitchen in the middle of the night (after waiting for his heart and other things to settle down) for coffee. He’s absolutely not going back to sleep no matter how much Vil might scold him for needing more rest. Hunched over the table with both hands cupped around the mug, he stares blankly at the steam rising from the too-sweet dark brew.
Why him? He doesn’t need something so trivial, no matter how he felt under the spell of sorcerous sugar. It’s an awful distraction, and with that person of all possible candidates? He’s fully certain this is his personal hell. It’s not like he can ask for advice or, worse yet, relief from the dream’s effects. Even if sating this bizarre curiosity works, how could he face him or anyone else in the house ever again? It’s stupid! He’s stupid for even considering it!
Groaning, Idia slides the mug away and lets his forehead thump onto the table. What more could possibly go wrong with his brain and body?]
[For his own reasons, Cater had also been finding himself staying up later and later more often. After the last Sleepr post, things had started to press at him, making him feel more anxious and uncertain than ever before. It wasn't solely any one person that was inspiring these thoughts, and ultimately he knew it was his own problem to solve...but that didn't stop his mind from wandering to someone specific, anyway.
It was hard not to, when they lived under the same roof. When Cater was aware of just how deliberately they'd been avoiding each other, since that blowup in the hallway.
When the smell of coffee reaches his room, Cater knows who it has to be. Anyone else and Vil wouldn't tolerate the ill-advised caffeine consumption. He knows it would probably be for the best to leave it, to pretend that he has no idea Idia's out and about in the middle of the night...but something tugs him out of bed, anyway. Cater shuffles toward the kitchen like a man possessed, standing for a long moment in the doorway as he watches where Idia sits.
The way the other boy's head was resting against the table, he could easily turn back around without being found out. And he wondered, even now, if making himself known would do more harm than good. But...they couldn't keep dancing around this, right? Not when Cater knew for a fact that Idia was thinking about him. So, steeling himself, he clears his throat to alert Idia to his presence, approaching the table.]
Looks like a recipe for getting no sleep. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you had an all-night dungeon crawl planned.
[Though it's an amicable opening, Cater doesn't put on a false air of cheer. No, he's notably subdued, his arms crossed somewhat defensively in front of his chest.]
[It’s quite the internal dichotomy, that I knew this would happen feeling hitting at the same instant he startles upright with a gasping yelp. Of course it’s Cater, why wouldn’t it be? This is his life, one cosmic mocking laugh after another aimed his way. He’s tempted to turn into a cat and take off, maybe squeeze himself into one of his nearby hiding spots.
Instead, his startled look gradually melts into a much more exhausted one. He shakes his head slowly, drawing the mug closer again to stare into it.]
I’d give anything for a console or computer.
[Maybe that’s why his stupid brain is losing it, he only gets to play at the arcade and sometimes it’s too crowded for him. He misses building and coding too. Sighing, he takes a long swallow of coffee.]
I am, like, actively coming over specifically to interact with you.
[Cater sighs, pulling up a chair at the table. Seriously, he knew Idia was like this, but it was so tiring, to feel like his presence was an active detriment. Even if Idia didn't mean it that way...but honestly, at this point, Cater really didn't know.
So, screw it. He's just gonna ask, point blank.]
What do you think of me?
[He leans back in his seat, watching Idia closely, as if expecting he'll have to use some kind of magic to keep him from turning cat and bolting.]
[That makes Idia freeze. He can feel himself starting to sweat from nerves. Unlike Cater, he wears his emotions clearly on his face all the time, in his body language, in the flames that start to flicker with licks of yellow-green.
And then the question comes, bringing with it crackling and spitting sparks, like wet wood in a campfire. Idia looks suddenly queasy.]
[Cater didn't blame Idia for being uncomfortable--honestly, he didn't want to be having this conversation, either. It would be so easy to throw out a laughing "JK" as if he was just teasing and leave this whole thing behind. But...it had to happen, it really did. So he doesn't back down.]
I'm having a really hard time understanding if you resent me or if you actually want me to be spending time with you. I thought it was the former, so I've been trying to respect your space, but I'm really getting mixed signals. I know communication isn't your strong suit but I can't, like...it's stressful, not knowing where I stand with your or what the right way forward is, to make things better. Nothing's going to get any less awkward if you don't tell me what you're thinking.
[Yeah, he’s definitely sweating now. His skin feels both hot and cold at the same time, a prickly and uncomfortable shell. He doesn’t like this serious Cater, he’d rather put up with frivolous, extroverted CayCay. His throat has gone dry but he doesn’t trust himself to take another drink without making the anxious nausea worse.
Why is this happening now, right after one of those dreams? Did… did Cater hear him one of those nights? Did he know what Idia was doing?? Oh Seven… if that’s what this is about, Idia’s going to die on the spot. Or did somebody tell Cater that he nearly managed to Overblot again even without his magic?
He’s spiraling, this could be from any number of things! Even if it really is only because Idia’s been avoiding him, why bring it up now, when that’s how things were for three years back at NRC?? Is it sharing a smaller house instead of two different dorms? Does Idia need to leave? But Vil will be upset, for some reason the man is protective of him….
Idia hasn’t answered, but the level of internal conflict is blatantly obvious in his features. The increasing green hue of his flames gives his pale skin an even more sickly look. His thoughts flash back to that encounter in the hall, the terrible squeezing pain in his chest and the need to escape clashing against something he doesn’t understand. He shakes his head, not an answer but simply because he’s not sure what to say.]
[Cater sighs as the incredibly uncomfortable silence stretches on between them, a mixture of frustrated and...disappointed. He just wanted this to be easy: Idia either telling him point-blank to never talk to him again so he knew where he stood, or...well, nothing else would really be easy no matter how one looked at it.]
Hey.
[This wasn't working, though, and Cater didn't really know how to try and bring Idia any sort of peace. The usual ways that his charm worked just didn't with Idia. But he can't just sit here staring at him, and he's determined not to leave him alone about this until he has no choice. So, he scoots their chairs a bit closer, and even as he anticipates getting flinched away from, he puts one of his hands on Idia's. Compared to those long, bony fingers, his own skin is soft and warm--even with the mild callouses from his guitar playing.]
No judgment, okay? I promise. Even if you don't have anything coherent banging around in that brilliant brain of yours, anywhere's a good place to start.
[It’s the first time Cater’s touched him since the fateful party. Idia remembers the warmth of those hands, the smoothness of fingertip calluses and soft skin, the gentle pressure of exploration. Cater’s hand is smaller than his but somehow much stronger, definitely far steadier. He remembers where those hands were that night. His brain latches onto the memory, wanting more than pain and sadness.
He can’t, it’s such a bad idea, he wants to pull back and run the way he always does. But the memory unfurls further, lips on his, tracing his neck, leaving a hot bruise. He struggles to swallow the lump in his throat. Cater’s so close, Idia thinks he smells soap and shampoo over the scent of coffee, he remembers burying his fingers in copper-bright hair with the same fragrance.
Something stirs, and Idia suddenly whimpers, slamming his eyes shut. Pink winds through the green fire, some cherry blossom pale and some as bright as dragonfruit, almost red.]
[Cater can't pretend to fully understand what the different colors of Idia's changing flames mean...but he can make some pretty educated guesses based on context clues alone. And he remembered, vividly, the last time he saw Idia's hair turn this color.
And he thinks, for what feels like the millionth time, about Idia's Sleepr entry--and his conversation with Natsume on that post. He squeezes Idia's hand just a bit more tightly, anticipating that what he has to say next might really make Idia want to bolt. But his voice is more gentle than ever.]
I wouldn't laugh at you, if you told me you still think about what happened at the party in December.
[No no no, why is Cater talking like that, so gentle and soft? Something about it zips right down Idia’s spine and raises goosebumps on his arms. It’s almost the same tone he spoke close to Idia’s ear when he asked if they should stop. A little more breathy and it would break him.
The party… he can’t stop thinking about it, waking moments looping back into the dream. Does Cater realize what he’s doing to Idia? Is this what he wants? There’s no shortage of those who want Cater, why should he waste a moment on a bitter, sad, lonely nerd? The reactions he struggled to curb return without a care for his mortification, and as much as he wants to flee he knows he’ll only give everything away if he tries.
[It should have been flattering, to hear someone say that they dreamed about him. To hear Idia say it. And it still was, he supposed, in a sense. But...it was just tragic, too, how broken up he was about it. How desperate he sounded to not be dreaming of him. Like Cater Diamond was a curse on his brain.
Well, clearly, trying to banish him from his subconscious mind wasn't working. The only other thing that made sense to him was to try the opposite: to get him out of his system. Surely, once he actually had him, he'd be satisfied, right? Because no matter what Idia's body wanted, he didn't like him. This was just some repressed physical need that Cater had unlocked. It only made sense that he step up and take responsibility.]
[The moment the words left his mouth, Idia’s face had gone hot. Cater’s casual answer only made it worse. The creeping dread that Cater could see through the table, see Idia’s shameful lack of control, twisted his insides. He wants to yank his hand away, but his body won’t listen, as if it too is tired of them dancing around each other.
He squeezes his thin thighs together, trying to will his unruly libido to chill. It’s not like they could get further than what happened at the party, once Cater got a good look at Idia’s body he’d drop an excuse and GTFO as fast as possible. Nobody could want someone who looks like this.]
… I… I can’t… n— nobody could stomach seeing me n— n— na…
[Cater takes a breath, searching for Idia's other hand, to take both of them in his own and draw his full attention. To try and break through all that static of self-loathing.]
I understand why you wouldn't believe me, but you could really look like absolutely anything and I'd still be just as interested. You're not going to scare me off.
Idia hates being caught in the rain, but with the unpredictable nature of the outdoors, sometimes it happens. He’s coming back after acquiring snacks, only for the sky to open up in that way that doesn’t have to last long to be utterly soaking. The problem is there’s no close by shelter that can accommodate his human form, so he pops into his cat shape (balancing the bag of snacks on his back, ugh, the one disadvantage of this form) and races to squeeze into a gap just big enough for him.
It’s dry and warm if a bit musty in what seems to be an abandoned shed. Not ideal, but it’s better than halfway drowning in the street. Sighing, he settles down to wait, annoyed that he can’t even pass the time by snacking.
Kageyama had ended up in cat form out of a moment of spinning out by himself emotionally. That's typically when it tends to happen, when he's too emotional or when he's overwhelmed by what's going on or very surprised. He doesn't bother trying to calm himself down to turn back human as it starts to rain.
Instead he searches out cover, working himself into the shed letting out what amounts to an annoyed huff in cat form, his tail twitching a bit irritably. He hadn't even noticed he wasn't alone which definitely speaks to how not observant he could be sometimes.
The huff has Idia yowling in surprise, his already impressive floof puffing up more and spitting out little orange sparks. Who’s intruding into his personal space now?? He backs away, unhappy noises in the back of his throat.
Wait. This other cat looks familiar. Is that… the guy he talked to on the network?
Idia quiets, and while he doesn’t approach his body language does start to calm down, the sparks fading. He simply stares at the other cat curiously.
Between the sound and the lights catching in the peripheral of his vision he looks over and sees another cat.
Oh.
It's the unnatural looking blue fire cat he'd met before... The recognition keeps him from feeling like he's in danger at least. His twitching tail starts to slow and there's a tiny meow as if to greet.
Idia returns the greeting with a quiet mew of his own, though it takes another moment for him to cautiously approach. When they're almost nose to nose he starts sniffing, the cat part of his brain analyzing potential issues. He doesn't smell anything that screams "bad," at least.
So he chirrups softly, encouraging the other cat to sniff in return. Thankfully Idia doesn't smell like smoke or ash the way the flames might imply.
Kageyama sniffs back, curious about the flaming fur. Hows that even real,
gently a paw sticks out lightly touching toward one of Idia’s front legs.
He doesn’t go up in flames doing so either. The sleek black cat gives one
more sniff and then there’s a very hesitant head rub against the blue cat.
Oh, okay. So he’s being accepted in return. See, this is so much easier than dealing with people. Just let the kitty instincts take over and they’re chill.
He returns the shy head bump, flames flickering more calmly now. The rain continues to pour but in here it’s dry and warm, so Idia settles down in loaf mode to wait things out. He watches the other cat, wondering if space is desired or maybe a tandem loafing.
Idia can’t help a bit of envy, though. This other guy is so glossy and sleek! So much nicer than Idia’s wild, glowy fur. Ugh, is that why he has the urge to groom the other? Weird.
It's definitely easier this way. Maybe Kageyama should just turn into a cat more often. He feels calm but he holds onto staying in his feline body, watching as Idia settles down. It won't stop raining anytime soon and this won't hurt anything. He's always lonely and here's a chance to not be for a bit.
So after a few long seconds he settles down right by Idia, no real space left between them, though he's alert for any signs that he's not welcome that close. He mews softly as if asking.
Idia mews back and even presses a bit closer, sharing warmth and fluff. It’s weird but sure, this guy seems cool enough in person, and after their talk online he does feel a little bad for his fellow cat-loving introvert. So maybe it’s okay to be nice. He even starts purring quietly to mellow out both their nerves.
It's nice, how warm it is and there's something very soothing. He doesn't actually purr a lot himself but when Idia starts he finds his head nudging over at him and there's the smallest purr coming from him. If only this was how you could always make friends. Easy.
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timeasmymeasure
12/25 Gift Delivery
Date: 2024-12-27 12:47 am (UTC)A tin of sweets (which may or may not be regifted) is waiting with a piece of paper attached that's been cut out to look like a classic ticket voucher. It reads: To be Exchanged for One Day at Appl3 Pi Arcade Courtesy of Cater Diamond (who will pay for all expenses but not force his company upon recipient).]
NSFW PRIVATE IN PERSON THREAD - BEFORE START OF APRIL 2025 EVENT
Date: 2025-04-16 10:55 pm (UTC)So instead he retreats to the kitchen in the middle of the night (after waiting for his heart and other things to settle down) for coffee. He’s absolutely not going back to sleep no matter how much Vil might scold him for needing more rest. Hunched over the table with both hands cupped around the mug, he stares blankly at the steam rising from the too-sweet dark brew.
Why him? He doesn’t need something so trivial, no matter how he felt under the spell of sorcerous sugar. It’s an awful distraction, and with that person of all possible candidates? He’s fully certain this is his personal hell. It’s not like he can ask for advice or, worse yet, relief from the dream’s effects. Even if sating this bizarre curiosity works, how could he face him or anyone else in the house ever again? It’s stupid! He’s stupid for even considering it!
Groaning, Idia slides the mug away and lets his forehead thump onto the table. What more could possibly go wrong with his brain and body?]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 02:20 am (UTC)It was hard not to, when they lived under the same roof. When Cater was aware of just how deliberately they'd been avoiding each other, since that blowup in the hallway.
When the smell of coffee reaches his room, Cater knows who it has to be. Anyone else and Vil wouldn't tolerate the ill-advised caffeine consumption. He knows it would probably be for the best to leave it, to pretend that he has no idea Idia's out and about in the middle of the night...but something tugs him out of bed, anyway. Cater shuffles toward the kitchen like a man possessed, standing for a long moment in the doorway as he watches where Idia sits.
The way the other boy's head was resting against the table, he could easily turn back around without being found out. And he wondered, even now, if making himself known would do more harm than good. But...they couldn't keep dancing around this, right? Not when Cater knew for a fact that Idia was thinking about him. So, steeling himself, he clears his throat to alert Idia to his presence, approaching the table.]
Looks like a recipe for getting no sleep. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you had an all-night dungeon crawl planned.
[Though it's an amicable opening, Cater doesn't put on a false air of cheer. No, he's notably subdued, his arms crossed somewhat defensively in front of his chest.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 02:56 am (UTC)Instead, his startled look gradually melts into a much more exhausted one. He shakes his head slowly, drawing the mug closer again to stare into it.]
I’d give anything for a console or computer.
[Maybe that’s why his stupid brain is losing it, he only gets to play at the arcade and sometimes it’s too crowded for him. He misses building and coding too. Sighing, he takes a long swallow of coffee.]
I’ll be outta your way as soon as I finish this.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 03:01 am (UTC)[Cater sighs, pulling up a chair at the table. Seriously, he knew Idia was like this, but it was so tiring, to feel like his presence was an active detriment. Even if Idia didn't mean it that way...but honestly, at this point, Cater really didn't know.
So, screw it. He's just gonna ask, point blank.]
What do you think of me?
[He leans back in his seat, watching Idia closely, as if expecting he'll have to use some kind of magic to keep him from turning cat and bolting.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 03:08 am (UTC)And then the question comes, bringing with it crackling and spitting sparks, like wet wood in a campfire. Idia looks suddenly queasy.]
Wh— what? I… I don’t…
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 03:15 am (UTC)I'm having a really hard time understanding if you resent me or if you actually want me to be spending time with you. I thought it was the former, so I've been trying to respect your space, but I'm really getting mixed signals. I know communication isn't your strong suit but I can't, like...it's stressful, not knowing where I stand with your or what the right way forward is, to make things better. Nothing's going to get any less awkward if you don't tell me what you're thinking.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 03:32 am (UTC)Why is this happening now, right after one of those dreams? Did… did Cater hear him one of those nights? Did he know what Idia was doing?? Oh Seven… if that’s what this is about, Idia’s going to die on the spot. Or did somebody tell Cater that he nearly managed to Overblot again even without his magic?
He’s spiraling, this could be from any number of things! Even if it really is only because Idia’s been avoiding him, why bring it up now, when that’s how things were for three years back at NRC?? Is it sharing a smaller house instead of two different dorms? Does Idia need to leave? But Vil will be upset, for some reason the man is protective of him….
Idia hasn’t answered, but the level of internal conflict is blatantly obvious in his features. The increasing green hue of his flames gives his pale skin an even more sickly look. His thoughts flash back to that encounter in the hall, the terrible squeezing pain in his chest and the need to escape clashing against something he doesn’t understand. He shakes his head, not an answer but simply because he’s not sure what to say.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 03:39 am (UTC)Hey.
[This wasn't working, though, and Cater didn't really know how to try and bring Idia any sort of peace. The usual ways that his charm worked just didn't with Idia. But he can't just sit here staring at him, and he's determined not to leave him alone about this until he has no choice. So, he scoots their chairs a bit closer, and even as he anticipates getting flinched away from, he puts one of his hands on Idia's. Compared to those long, bony fingers, his own skin is soft and warm--even with the mild callouses from his guitar playing.]
No judgment, okay? I promise. Even if you don't have anything coherent banging around in that brilliant brain of yours, anywhere's a good place to start.
[Because clearly, clearly, it wasn't nothing.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 04:06 am (UTC)He can’t, it’s such a bad idea, he wants to pull back and run the way he always does. But the memory unfurls further, lips on his, tracing his neck, leaving a hot bruise. He struggles to swallow the lump in his throat. Cater’s so close, Idia thinks he smells soap and shampoo over the scent of coffee, he remembers burying his fingers in copper-bright hair with the same fragrance.
Something stirs, and Idia suddenly whimpers, slamming his eyes shut. Pink winds through the green fire, some cherry blossom pale and some as bright as dragonfruit, almost red.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 04:22 am (UTC)And he thinks, for what feels like the millionth time, about Idia's Sleepr entry--and his conversation with Natsume on that post. He squeezes Idia's hand just a bit more tightly, anticipating that what he has to say next might really make Idia want to bolt. But his voice is more gentle than ever.]
I wouldn't laugh at you, if you told me you still think about what happened at the party in December.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 04:35 am (UTC)The party… he can’t stop thinking about it, waking moments looping back into the dream. Does Cater realize what he’s doing to Idia? Is this what he wants? There’s no shortage of those who want Cater, why should he waste a moment on a bitter, sad, lonely nerd? The reactions he struggled to curb return without a care for his mortification, and as much as he wants to flee he knows he’ll only give everything away if he tries.
And then his mouth betrays him anyway.]
I— I can’t stop the dreams…!
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 04:40 am (UTC)Well, clearly, trying to banish him from his subconscious mind wasn't working. The only other thing that made sense to him was to try the opposite: to get him out of his system. Surely, once he actually had him, he'd be satisfied, right? Because no matter what Idia's body wanted, he didn't like him. This was just some repressed physical need that Cater had unlocked. It only made sense that he step up and take responsibility.]
So...don't let them be dreams.
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 04:52 am (UTC)He squeezes his thin thighs together, trying to will his unruly libido to chill. It’s not like they could get further than what happened at the party, once Cater got a good look at Idia’s body he’d drop an excuse and GTFO as fast as possible. Nobody could want someone who looks like this.]
… I… I can’t… n— nobody could stomach seeing me n— n— na…
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 05:00 am (UTC)[Cater takes a breath, searching for Idia's other hand, to take both of them in his own and draw his full attention. To try and break through all that static of self-loathing.]
I understand why you wouldn't believe me, but you could really look like absolutely anything and I'd still be just as interested. You're not going to scare me off.
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From:cw: body image issues
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From:(Thank you canon for giving us Big Hands Idia & society for the stereotype XD)
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From:In person, before the August event
Date: 2025-08-17 06:43 pm (UTC)It’s dry and warm if a bit musty in what seems to be an abandoned shed. Not ideal, but it’s better than halfway drowning in the street. Sighing, he settles down to wait, annoyed that he can’t even pass the time by snacking.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-20 09:18 pm (UTC)Instead he searches out cover, working himself into the shed letting out what amounts to an annoyed huff in cat form, his tail twitching a bit irritably. He hadn't even noticed he wasn't alone which definitely speaks to how not observant he could be sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-25 10:16 pm (UTC)Wait. This other cat looks familiar. Is that… the guy he talked to on the network?
Idia quiets, and while he doesn’t approach his body language does start to calm down, the sparks fading. He simply stares at the other cat curiously.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-26 01:01 am (UTC)Oh.
It's the unnatural looking blue fire cat he'd met before... The recognition keeps him from feeling like he's in danger at least. His twitching tail starts to slow and there's a tiny meow as if to greet.
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Date: 2025-08-28 05:58 pm (UTC)So he chirrups softly, encouraging the other cat to sniff in return. Thankfully Idia doesn't smell like smoke or ash the way the flames might imply.
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Date: 2025-08-28 11:21 pm (UTC)Kageyama sniffs back, curious about the flaming fur. Hows that even real, gently a paw sticks out lightly touching toward one of Idia’s front legs. He doesn’t go up in flames doing so either. The sleek black cat gives one more sniff and then there’s a very hesitant head rub against the blue cat.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-29 03:57 am (UTC)He returns the shy head bump, flames flickering more calmly now. The rain continues to pour but in here it’s dry and warm, so Idia settles down in loaf mode to wait things out. He watches the other cat, wondering if space is desired or maybe a tandem loafing.
Idia can’t help a bit of envy, though. This other guy is so glossy and sleek! So much nicer than Idia’s wild, glowy fur. Ugh, is that why he has the urge to groom the other? Weird.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-30 04:57 am (UTC)So after a few long seconds he settles down right by Idia, no real space left between them, though he's alert for any signs that he's not welcome that close. He mews softly as if asking.
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Date: 2025-08-31 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 11:29 pm (UTC)