[Cater can't pretend to fully understand what the different colors of Idia's changing flames mean...but he can make some pretty educated guesses based on context clues alone. And he remembered, vividly, the last time he saw Idia's hair turn this color.
And he thinks, for what feels like the millionth time, about Idia's Sleepr entry--and his conversation with Natsume on that post. He squeezes Idia's hand just a bit more tightly, anticipating that what he has to say next might really make Idia want to bolt. But his voice is more gentle than ever.]
I wouldn't laugh at you, if you told me you still think about what happened at the party in December.
[No no no, why is Cater talking like that, so gentle and soft? Something about it zips right down Idia’s spine and raises goosebumps on his arms. It’s almost the same tone he spoke close to Idia’s ear when he asked if they should stop. A little more breathy and it would break him.
The party… he can’t stop thinking about it, waking moments looping back into the dream. Does Cater realize what he’s doing to Idia? Is this what he wants? There’s no shortage of those who want Cater, why should he waste a moment on a bitter, sad, lonely nerd? The reactions he struggled to curb return without a care for his mortification, and as much as he wants to flee he knows he’ll only give everything away if he tries.
[It should have been flattering, to hear someone say that they dreamed about him. To hear Idia say it. And it still was, he supposed, in a sense. But...it was just tragic, too, how broken up he was about it. How desperate he sounded to not be dreaming of him. Like Cater Diamond was a curse on his brain.
Well, clearly, trying to banish him from his subconscious mind wasn't working. The only other thing that made sense to him was to try the opposite: to get him out of his system. Surely, once he actually had him, he'd be satisfied, right? Because no matter what Idia's body wanted, he didn't like him. This was just some repressed physical need that Cater had unlocked. It only made sense that he step up and take responsibility.]
[The moment the words left his mouth, Idia’s face had gone hot. Cater’s casual answer only made it worse. The creeping dread that Cater could see through the table, see Idia’s shameful lack of control, twisted his insides. He wants to yank his hand away, but his body won’t listen, as if it too is tired of them dancing around each other.
He squeezes his thin thighs together, trying to will his unruly libido to chill. It’s not like they could get further than what happened at the party, once Cater got a good look at Idia’s body he’d drop an excuse and GTFO as fast as possible. Nobody could want someone who looks like this.]
… I… I can’t… n— nobody could stomach seeing me n— n— na…
[Cater takes a breath, searching for Idia's other hand, to take both of them in his own and draw his full attention. To try and break through all that static of self-loathing.]
I understand why you wouldn't believe me, but you could really look like absolutely anything and I'd still be just as interested. You're not going to scare me off.
[Not fair, touching both of his hands. Some primitive part of his brain is yelling YES while his rational side agonizes. All this time keeping Cater at a distance, and now it’s crashing down because of mind-altering spells and stupid lingering hormones?]
Y— you’ve got that guy… could have anybody you want… don’t… don’t do this to yourself… don’t have to pretend….
[Why else would Cater be interested in him? He wouldn’t, that’s the answer. This… it has to be pity. Idia doesn’t think Cater’s shallow enough to consider him a conquest. Though if he’s wrong, does it matter?]
[He can’t look. He just… can’t. If he looks, it will be real and he’ll crumble. He’s scared if he goes through with it, he’ll be admitting to something he’s been denying. He’s terrified he’ll enjoy it.]
… don’t know… w— what I’m doing…
[He brags about otome games and knowing the best routes, but this hasn’t been anything like those. He’s lost and helpless. What if he regrets it? What if things become even more awkward?]
[That was never a problem. Cater knew enough for the both of them. Knew all about staving off loneliness with physical escape. So he leans in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper.]
[That whisper and those words go right to Idia’s core. What a dirty move. If Cater keeps this up they’re going to be fooling around on Vil’s kitchen table because Idia won’t want to walk. So he bites his lip and relents with a small nod, hoping this actually brings him some peace of mind. Whatever Cater wants from him in exchange is worth sleeping without those dreams.
His flames are mostly red now, shot with pink. The sickly green has completely faded. Even his eyebrows and the bluish color of his lips and eyelids have shifted, making him look like he’s wearing Heartslabyul’s red eyeliner and rose lipstick.]
[That question earns a slight quirk of Cater's lips. He stands, pulling up Idia with him, whether he liked it or not.]
My room. C'mon.
[He didn't know how far they'd actually be going, here, but...if they wanted to be prepared, that was the best place. Besides, if it didn't go well, better that Idia was able to retreat to a safe, untainted space. So long as Idia doesn't protest, Cater will lead him by the hand all the way to his bedroom and lock the door behind them.]
[Idia hesitates to get up but eventually does, revealing what he was trying to hide: the start of a noticeable bulge in his sweatpants. He avoids Cater’s eyes, red to the tips of his ears. Since when did he become so easy to turn on?? He’s fully expecting a laugh or a sly remark as he shuffles awkwardly along.
The door closing behind them has him jumping slightly, the click of the lock making him gulp. He’s shaking, his free arm wrapping around his chest protectively, but he doesn’t try to pry his other hand away.]
[He does notice, of course--there's no real way not to. But Cater, gentleman that he is, doesn't so much as let his eyes linger. There would be plenty of time for that shortly, anyway. Once they're guaranteed their privacy, Cater pivots his body toward Idia once again and considers him. If this went anything like last time, this would probably escalate surprisingly quickly...but then, Idia wasn't on any kind of inhibition-lowering substance, this time. Cater wasn't totally sure what he should expect.
Either way, Idia looked like he might fall over unexpectedly at any point, so Cater guides him over to the bed and encourages him to sit down beside him, knocking their knees together.]
If you need to stop, I don't want you to forget that you can say so at any time, okay? I won't feel badly about it.
[Stop? He doesn't want to start. Not really. Well, maybe not. He doesn't know. How did he end up here, like this? He's scared of this unknown and what it could do, but existing in this limbo is tearing him apart. Losing his temper in the hall proved that much, when before he could've simply run away and not had dreams that left him a mess physically and mentally.
Sitting on Cater's bed feels surreal, his pulse frantic from the thought that he's going to end up stretched out naked here soon. Will Cater count his ribs, the bumps in his spine? Will he gauge the depth of the hollows of Idia's collar bones? Will there be disgust in his eyes as he tests if his finger and thumb can completely encircle a wrist or a even a bicep? How can Idia's flesh be aching for this so much when there's so little of it?
He doesn't know what to say and still doesn't trust his voice, so he simply nods again. Sitting down means he can squeeze his legs together again, draping one hand over the embarrassing evidence in his lap as if trying to hide it. He wishes he could yell at it and make it stop doing that forever.]
[Cater expected, of course, that he'd be leading this whole thing, but watching Idia sit beside him looking so miserable made him doubt if this wasn't wrong of him. If it wouldn't somehow make things worse when it didn't really feel like things could get worse.
For now, he doesn't pressure Idia to stop hiding himself and his natural physical reactions. He just makes a decision for the both of them, to start where they'd left off before. Without saying anything else, Cater slides a hand around to the back of Idia's neck to pull him gently in toward him and meets him halfway, pressing their lips gently together.]
[Idia nearly panics at the hand on the back of his neck pulling him in, but it only lasts for a couple of seconds before and after Cater’s mouth finds his. He only thinks to close his eyes when being so close proves too much for his fluttering thoughts. He doesn’t pull away, but he only reacts with stillness for a few seconds more as Cater steals his second-ever kiss, too.
And then his body starts to remember.
His heart throbs almost painfully, lips tingling. He doesn’t know what to do, how to kiss properly, he’s going to turn Cater off so badly that any second now the other boy will break away to laugh at him. Whimpering, all he can do is push himself a bit closer, tilting his head slightly so his nose doesn’t get in the way, and wordlessly beg for Cater to show him what he’s missing without magic sweets in his stomach.]
[No talking, right now. No breaking focus. Just gentle, slow movements as he helped Idia fall back into what might feel a little more familiar or comfortable--reminiscent of last time, hopefully without the same sort of forced desperation. His hand slides from the back of his neck and, fingertips sliding against the sharp curve of his jaw. Cater doesn't work to deepen the kiss, expecting that while this still might escalate quickly, it won't be as much of a passionate firestorm as it was at the party. He'd wait until Idia seemed hopefully a bit more relaxed to try anything else.
Finally, his free hand slides over to take one of Idia's again, pulling it away from his lap to knit their fingers together, instead.]
[Oh, this is dangerous. He’d expected Cater to go for it, deeper kisses and bolder touches. This is about satisfying an urge, scratching an itch, getting it out of Idia’s system. But this? The entangled fingers? It’s too close to things he’d prefer to leave unexplained and unexplored. It feeds kindling to the fire that exploded in the hall that night. They should stop. It would be the logical thing to do.
But Idia doesn’t pull back. He’s terrified but he barely parts his lips, giving consent even as the hand in Cater’s trembles. He recalls mouths crushed together, tongues meeting, but that was a different Idia that left his mistakes for this one to fix.]
[It's hard for him to gauge, exactly, how much of this Idia likes or is indifferent to, if he's just nervous because of lack of experience or because its Cater he's doing this with or something else entirely. But then Idia's mouth opens, even if it's just a little. Cater takes the opening he's been given, using his own mouth to widen that gap just a bit further--needing a bit of extra leeway to get safely past those signature teeth.
As soon as he's brave enough to do so, Cater's tongue makes a bold path forward. All he can do is trust that in his nervous state, Idia won't crunch down on him. He lets loose a small sigh, his own skin warming even with the stilted and awkward beginnings of this.]
[Though he’s expecting it, having Cater’s tongue in his mouth still shocks Idia. Thankfully he doesn’t bite down, but he does freeze up for a heartbeat or two. When he finally responds it’s with shy hesitation, the slightest brush of tongue to tongue.
It’s… okay, strange but not unpleasant, though as he tilts his head a bit more to better slot their mouths together, he can’t ignore the twinge in his pants. What was calming down is waking up again, and Idia presses his hand more firmly into his lap. Despite what they’re likely going to do, the thought of Cater seeing that part of him is so mortifying. What if it’s abnormal too, even more so than the rest of him? It’s not like he has much reference outside the confines of fictional bodies in media. Though he knows some things about his body are definitely unlike most people’s, and all he can do is hope Cater isn’t weirded out.]
[It was hard to make full sense of this. Cater wasn't used to needing to plan out his actions to such an extent as he was in the middle of making out with a person. Usually, he just kind of went for it, allowing room for caution and any needs to pause things. This was a much different level of delicate, however. Feeling Idia's body shift, he has a feeling he knows exactly what the other teen is trying to diminish. Should he try not to draw attention for the sake of Idia's comfort, or was it better to just get it out of the way now?
He has no idea what the right move is, but he's worried that the wrong one will turn things ugly.
Might as well test the waters, anyway. The hand on Idia's jaw starts to sink, blazing a trail down his front--but he doesn't go all the way to his lap, instead taking a break to rest at his slim waist. And then his mouth is moving, too, drawing out of their liplock so he can scour kisses down his long neck, instead.]
[The kisses trailing down his neck bring up fevered memories as well, especially as Cater finds the spot where he’d left a mark that night. Idia whimpers again and bites his lip, subconsciously seeking some relief by grinding the heel of his palm against his twitching arousal. Maybe if he’s just rough enough to be unpleasant without pain, the damned thing will lose interest.
But no, it’s not subsiding. If anything, Cater’s attentions are encouraging it. He can feel his pulse in it, a strong and rapid throb that has his breath catching as one of those kisses simultaneously finds a sensitive spot.]
[Each little hint that Idia gives him, however unintentional, Cater capitalizes on. They've officially reached a point where he's willing to be a bit more aggressive, to move things in a specific direction instead of meandering around what it was that the other boy's body was begging for. He bites down gently on that bit of skin that sparked a reaction, and his hand finally comes down the rest of the way. Cater takes Idia's hand by the wrist to pull it away from the erection he's trying to suppress, replacing it with his own once--in a much kinder, gentler movement. His fingers dance over that bump in the soft fabric of his sweatpants before diving beneath to properly size the full length of him.
[Idia shudders at the unexpected bite, thrown off-balance by it enough not to resist his hand being moved away. A confused sound becomes a gasp when he feels fingers that aren’t his tracing his “hidden attribute.” He wasn’t expecting Cater to move so fast, but his body isn’t going to let him say no, fears be damned.
Cater might be getting a surprise of his own. It seems like whatever refused to build up Idia’s body put all its energy into his brain and one other place, because what’s under Cater’s hand… is impressive. The sly joke about men with big hands might have some truth to it after all. Not just long but proportionately girthy, heated where Idia is usually cold, and already leaking, it’s lucky Idia’s pants are so loose to give Cater room to tease it without having to take the garment down.]
[The weight of the rod he's wrapping his fingers around is so surprising Cater nearly pulls back so he can take a good look at it with his own damn eyes. Thankfully, he has the sense to restrain himself, and his only actual indication of surprise is the way his breath puffs out against Idia's neck. This suddenly got much more fun for him--not that it was ever a chore, mind you, but--damn!]
Here, lay back.
[His other hand finally breaks away from where it was locking fingers with Idia's to guide him down against the bed, get him a little more comfortable. Cater was doing his best to temper his own excitement, this new development making him suddenly feel a lot more hot and bothered than he had been.
Listen--he had said Idia could look like anything, but having a huge cock certainly didn't hurt things.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-04-17 04:22 am (UTC)And he thinks, for what feels like the millionth time, about Idia's Sleepr entry--and his conversation with Natsume on that post. He squeezes Idia's hand just a bit more tightly, anticipating that what he has to say next might really make Idia want to bolt. But his voice is more gentle than ever.]
I wouldn't laugh at you, if you told me you still think about what happened at the party in December.
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Date: 2025-04-17 04:35 am (UTC)The party… he can’t stop thinking about it, waking moments looping back into the dream. Does Cater realize what he’s doing to Idia? Is this what he wants? There’s no shortage of those who want Cater, why should he waste a moment on a bitter, sad, lonely nerd? The reactions he struggled to curb return without a care for his mortification, and as much as he wants to flee he knows he’ll only give everything away if he tries.
And then his mouth betrays him anyway.]
I— I can’t stop the dreams…!
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Date: 2025-04-17 04:40 am (UTC)Well, clearly, trying to banish him from his subconscious mind wasn't working. The only other thing that made sense to him was to try the opposite: to get him out of his system. Surely, once he actually had him, he'd be satisfied, right? Because no matter what Idia's body wanted, he didn't like him. This was just some repressed physical need that Cater had unlocked. It only made sense that he step up and take responsibility.]
So...don't let them be dreams.
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Date: 2025-04-17 04:52 am (UTC)He squeezes his thin thighs together, trying to will his unruly libido to chill. It’s not like they could get further than what happened at the party, once Cater got a good look at Idia’s body he’d drop an excuse and GTFO as fast as possible. Nobody could want someone who looks like this.]
… I… I can’t… n— nobody could stomach seeing me n— n— na…
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:00 am (UTC)[Cater takes a breath, searching for Idia's other hand, to take both of them in his own and draw his full attention. To try and break through all that static of self-loathing.]
I understand why you wouldn't believe me, but you could really look like absolutely anything and I'd still be just as interested. You're not going to scare me off.
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:09 am (UTC)Y— you’ve got that guy… could have anybody you want… don’t… don’t do this to yourself… don’t have to pretend….
[Why else would Cater be interested in him? He wouldn’t, that’s the answer. This… it has to be pity. Idia doesn’t think Cater’s shallow enough to consider him a conquest. Though if he’s wrong, does it matter?]
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:13 am (UTC)You are giving me way too much credit. I'm not some mega celebrity or prince. I'm just a guy. But just--look at me.
[He shifts to try and put himself directly in Idia's dodging line of sight.]
Do I really look like I'm pretending, right now?
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:24 am (UTC)… don’t know… w— what I’m doing…
[He brags about otome games and knowing the best routes, but this hasn’t been anything like those. He’s lost and helpless. What if he regrets it? What if things become even more awkward?]
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:31 am (UTC)[That was never a problem. Cater knew enough for the both of them. Knew all about staving off loneliness with physical escape. So he leans in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper.]
You just need to give yourself permission.
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:42 am (UTC)His flames are mostly red now, shot with pink. The sickly green has completely faded. Even his eyebrows and the bluish color of his lips and eyelids have shifted, making him look like he’s wearing Heartslabyul’s red eyeliner and rose lipstick.]
… Wh— where…?
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:49 am (UTC)My room. C'mon.
[He didn't know how far they'd actually be going, here, but...if they wanted to be prepared, that was the best place. Besides, if it didn't go well, better that Idia was able to retreat to a safe, untainted space. So long as Idia doesn't protest, Cater will lead him by the hand all the way to his bedroom and lock the door behind them.]
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Date: 2025-04-17 05:57 am (UTC)The door closing behind them has him jumping slightly, the click of the lock making him gulp. He’s shaking, his free arm wrapping around his chest protectively, but he doesn’t try to pry his other hand away.]
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Date: 2025-04-17 07:46 am (UTC)Either way, Idia looked like he might fall over unexpectedly at any point, so Cater guides him over to the bed and encourages him to sit down beside him, knocking their knees together.]
If you need to stop, I don't want you to forget that you can say so at any time, okay? I won't feel badly about it.
cw: body image issues
Date: 2025-04-17 03:12 pm (UTC)Sitting on Cater's bed feels surreal, his pulse frantic from the thought that he's going to end up stretched out naked here soon. Will Cater count his ribs, the bumps in his spine? Will he gauge the depth of the hollows of Idia's collar bones? Will there be disgust in his eyes as he tests if his finger and thumb can completely encircle a wrist or a even a bicep? How can Idia's flesh be aching for this so much when there's so little of it?
He doesn't know what to say and still doesn't trust his voice, so he simply nods again. Sitting down means he can squeeze his legs together again, draping one hand over the embarrassing evidence in his lap as if trying to hide it. He wishes he could yell at it and make it stop doing that forever.]
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Date: 2025-04-18 12:19 am (UTC)For now, he doesn't pressure Idia to stop hiding himself and his natural physical reactions. He just makes a decision for the both of them, to start where they'd left off before. Without saying anything else, Cater slides a hand around to the back of Idia's neck to pull him gently in toward him and meets him halfway, pressing their lips gently together.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-18 02:14 am (UTC)And then his body starts to remember.
His heart throbs almost painfully, lips tingling. He doesn’t know what to do, how to kiss properly, he’s going to turn Cater off so badly that any second now the other boy will break away to laugh at him. Whimpering, all he can do is push himself a bit closer, tilting his head slightly so his nose doesn’t get in the way, and wordlessly beg for Cater to show him what he’s missing without magic sweets in his stomach.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-18 03:51 am (UTC)Finally, his free hand slides over to take one of Idia's again, pulling it away from his lap to knit their fingers together, instead.]
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Date: 2025-04-18 04:03 am (UTC)But Idia doesn’t pull back. He’s terrified but he barely parts his lips, giving consent even as the hand in Cater’s trembles. He recalls mouths crushed together, tongues meeting, but that was a different Idia that left his mistakes for this one to fix.]
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Date: 2025-04-18 04:17 am (UTC)As soon as he's brave enough to do so, Cater's tongue makes a bold path forward. All he can do is trust that in his nervous state, Idia won't crunch down on him. He lets loose a small sigh, his own skin warming even with the stilted and awkward beginnings of this.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-18 04:32 am (UTC)It’s… okay, strange but not unpleasant, though as he tilts his head a bit more to better slot their mouths together, he can’t ignore the twinge in his pants. What was calming down is waking up again, and Idia presses his hand more firmly into his lap. Despite what they’re likely going to do, the thought of Cater seeing that part of him is so mortifying. What if it’s abnormal too, even more so than the rest of him? It’s not like he has much reference outside the confines of fictional bodies in media. Though he knows some things about his body are definitely unlike most people’s, and all he can do is hope Cater isn’t weirded out.]
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Date: 2025-04-18 04:42 am (UTC)He has no idea what the right move is, but he's worried that the wrong one will turn things ugly.
Might as well test the waters, anyway. The hand on Idia's jaw starts to sink, blazing a trail down his front--but he doesn't go all the way to his lap, instead taking a break to rest at his slim waist. And then his mouth is moving, too, drawing out of their liplock so he can scour kisses down his long neck, instead.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-18 05:03 am (UTC)But no, it’s not subsiding. If anything, Cater’s attentions are encouraging it. He can feel his pulse in it, a strong and rapid throb that has his breath catching as one of those kisses simultaneously finds a sensitive spot.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-18 05:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-04-18 05:34 am (UTC)Cater might be getting a surprise of his own. It seems like whatever refused to build up Idia’s body put all its energy into his brain and one other place, because what’s under Cater’s hand… is impressive. The sly joke about men with big hands might have some truth to it after all. Not just long but proportionately girthy, heated where Idia is usually cold, and already leaking, it’s lucky Idia’s pants are so loose to give Cater room to tease it without having to take the garment down.]
no subject
Date: 2025-04-18 05:47 am (UTC)Here, lay back.
[His other hand finally breaks away from where it was locking fingers with Idia's to guide him down against the bed, get him a little more comfortable. Cater was doing his best to temper his own excitement, this new development making him suddenly feel a lot more hot and bothered than he had been.
Listen--he had said Idia could look like anything, but having a huge cock certainly didn't hurt things.]
(Thank you canon for giving us Big Hands Idia & society for the stereotype XD)
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